I have found a lot of resources on the Internet these last few days. A lot of Blogs and message boards for other people who are affected by a loved one's fight with PTSD. In a sick way it is very comforting to know that I am not alone. There are other people out there going through the same things that I am. The walking on eggshells, the crying, the feeling not good enough, or that it is their fault. Reading other peoples posts is comforting.
I have to say that one fear I do have from being in my current relationship, is that, I will loose who I am. I am starting to realize that when things between us are rough, that I don't have it in me to cry as often. In away that is a good thing and a relief for my eyes but I feel like I am loosing my innocents at the same time. That one day I will just wake up and be a totally unemotional person. A zombie of some sorts. But on the other hand maybe that is a sign that I am growing. That I am, a little at a time, realizing that it is not my fault.
I love my partner very very much. I always tell him that I love him more then he can realize. I am a strong person and I know we can make it, but I can also see that there is a long road ahead of us.